Victor's bday on 15th June

Yes... we celebrated Victor's birthday on my 2nd day of my surgery. Yea... its just my 2nd day. But due to nobody celebrating with him, so I invited them to my house. Although I can't do anything special, but at least i've got the heart to invite few of them to come to my house, having dinner together and blowing candles.
Due to this birthday gathering, I've found out the truth on both friends. One of them was Su May. I don't know much about this girl. In the begining, I thought she was a very decent and good friend. Can be a very good friend to me. we shared secrets, laughters, tears and lots more. But the more I become closer to her I realize that she take things for granted. She is not the girl that I thought she is. Knowing that I can't do any cleaning, she didn't even wash her own plate after her meal. All she know was after dinner, she wants to drink. My whole bottle of bailey all gone.... finished by her. Aiks... Luckily I've JL. She helped me to do the cleaning. Without her, I think Mic will scold me for the rest of the week...
The other one was YM. I don't know why I'm so angry with him. Really angry. I've never been so angry with a person till a stage that I don't want to meet him and talk to him. He is so IRRESPONSIBLE. Why I said like this?

1) He didn't came for on Tuesday. Last minute when JL called him, he said he dun wan to attend. We prepared his food and he didn't turn up.

2) He forgotten to pass the present to Alice a few times. And when I asked him, he used quite a harsh tone and said he forgot.

3) He sent a sms to JL saying that he didn't come to my house because he doesn't want to see my friend. He just want to talk privately with JL. Meaning all the while I'm the BIG Light BulB to him.

4) I treated him as friend but he treats me as light bulb. Even he doesn't want to meet my friends, but he should come to visit me if he really treats me as friends.

5) HE DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HIM AND JL. How can him not remembering JL's handphone number? What kind of guy is he???

I'm back here again... after suffering for 2 weeks. I still remember the day I was operated. Woke up at 4 sth in the morning. Took a nice hot shower, get changed and went to hospital. On the way there, Mic and I remains silence. Don't wish to talk at all.

I was the first patient to arrive. Waiting at the waiting hall and suddenly Alice called. She came all the way to give me support. I'm really glad to have her as friend. She helped me to get change and we chatted for while I am waiting for the Anesthetist.

Finally, they called my name and I walked in to the surgery room. All I feel was cold and scary. They told me they need to use my neck for dripping purposes. Well, when the needles breaking through the skin of my neck and yet they failed to get the vain, its bleed non stop. After few times trying, they gave up and tried the other side of my neck. Its really pain and seems like I'm heading towards THE HELL...

After few minutes, I was unconscious. Till I woke up, all I know was I was in pain. Really pain. The injections can't reduce the pain. Micheal was not there. He went to fetch my mum. Luckily Alice was there with me. Once again, Alice thanks for being there with me when I needed you... You've bcome my Angel...

This conversation was made the night before the surgery. Ivan is still the Ivan I knew last time. He was always there to make me laugh whenever I feel scared, nervous or upset. The day after tomorrow what will I be??? I really don't know. Just hoping for fast recovery. that's all i hope right now.

2010/6/13 WeiFen hear jor

2010/6/13 WeiFen nice song

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* sure la

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* touch right

2010/6/13 WeiFen yuop

2010/6/13 =3]Iv@N[/c]* got cry?

2010/6/13 WeiFen no la

2010/6/13 WeiFen u think i m cry bb

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* u are

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* u no cry mean no feeling de

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* I always cry when listen

2010/6/13 WeiFen ur head

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* ur blood cold one

2010/6/13 WeiFen ur blood only cold lar

2010/6/13 WeiFen i dun care yea

2010/6/13 WeiFen tomolo u call me

2010/6/13 WeiFen :P

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* -.-"

2010/6/13 c=3]Iv@N[/c]* no call

2010/6/13 =3]Iv@N[/c]*u said u call me

2010/6/13 WeiFen ==

2010/6/13 WeiFen y u so kira 1

2010/6/13 WeiFen i said u call thn u call la

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*hahaha

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* why u so serious de

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*u cant feel i m joking u o

2010/6/13 WeiFen where got serious

2010/6/13 WeiFen lol

2010/6/13 WeiFen if not serious tone thn u wont scare

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* wow...i m so scare

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* ur operation take how long time?

2010/6/13 WeiFen dunno lo

2010/6/13 WeiFeni m scare

2010/6/13 WeiFen not u scare

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*no scare

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* wil be fine de la

2010/6/13 WeiFen tomolo hv to wakr p at 5.30

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* after tmr u no more suffer in hand lo

2010/6/13 WeiFen hopefully lo

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* the day after tmr

2010/6/13 WeiFen doc said no gurantee

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c] wil be wonderful day

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* doctor kidding u

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* or u misunderstd liao

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* dont wry

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*- I support u

2010/6/13 WeiFen no ler

2010/6/13 WeiFen doc very serious

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* tmr morning wake I 1st thg bless for u

2010/6/13 WeiFen thnk u

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*but i wake up u ald go in operation room liao

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* dont wry...u must trust urself & doctor

2010/6/13 WeiFen thn u wake up early lo

2010/6/13 WeiFen haha

2010/6/13 WeiFen b4 7

2010/6/13WeiFen b4 7.30

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*- dont give up any chance to get better

2010/6/13 WeiFen lolz

2010/6/13 WeiFen yea

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* yeah

2010/6/13 WeiFen but the doc is good

2010/6/13 WeiFen all the doc there is good lo

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* I m waiting u give me 5

2010/6/13 WeiFen wat 5

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* -.-" give me 5

2010/6/13 WeiFen oooh

2010/6/13 WeiFen okok

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* 2hand hit together that one "give me 5"

2010/6/13 WeiFen once my hand fully recover thn i can BEAT u liao

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* -.-'' I said give me 5

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* u said beat me

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*too bad

2010/6/13 WeiFen no .. i m more interesting on beating n pinching

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*wait u beat me

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* i ald train my teeth to bite u wahahaa

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* come on ur hand

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* BITE

2010/6/13 WeiFen cheah i dun scared

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*- dont look down my mouth

2010/6/13 WeiFen yea hor

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* my mouth and teeth dont play play de lo

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* quite big lo

2010/6/13 WeiFen ur mouth is lion mouth

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* wao..........

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* now feel relax bo

2010/6/13 WeiFen yes

2010/6/13 WeiFen relax liao

2010/6/13 WeiFen thnks yea

2010/6/13 WeiFen can sleep liao

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* tmr worry then thinking about joke we hv b4

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* relax go in

2010/6/13 WeiFen okok

2010/6/13 WeiFen i will

2010/6/13 WeiFen hey

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* will ur head

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* must

2010/6/13 WeiFen finish ur iron

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*- must ah

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*finish liao la

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* if no bakar liao lo

2010/6/13 WeiFen bath liao?

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* still can msn meh

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* bath liao la...

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* all done liao

2010/6/13 WeiFen pang sai?

2010/6/13 WeiFen oooh

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* I can slp too liao

2010/6/13 WeiFen [ okok

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* oh...forget pangsai

2010/6/13 WeiFen thn u slp too la

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* nvm la...

2010/6/13 WeiFen wah

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* tmr jz pang

2010/6/13 WeiFen still can forget

2010/6/13 WeiFen n can wait

2010/6/13 WeiFen wah.... u really superman

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* I hv train b4 de leh

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*under controlable

2010/6/13 WeiFen oooh

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* can adjust quantity also

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* hahaha

2010/6/13 WeiFen u ar....

2010/6/13 WeiFen disgusting

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* now I trying to do quality control

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* make sure all shit is same quality same smelly

2010/6/13 WeiFen u think u r factory ar

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* I m manufacturing

2010/6/13 WeiFen oooh

2010/6/13 WeiFen okok

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* when u wan put in materials?

2010/6/13 9 WeiFen thn manufac for who

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*waiting ur high cost materials jogoya

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*- indah water

2010/6/13 WeiFen indah water wan meh

2010/6/13 WeiFen u sign contract with them?

2010/6/13 WeiFen how much thy pay u

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* indah water help me distribute to other control

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*-country*

2010/6/13 WeiFen oooh

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* I m doing charities event

2010/6/13 WeiFen really beh tahan u

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*- no take income

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* beh tahan oh

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* I also beh tahan myself so good

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*doing this kind of charity

2010/6/13 WeiFen lol

2010/6/13 WeiFen okok

2010/6/13 WeiFen stop making jokes

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* faster go slp la

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* I dint joke

2010/6/13 WeiFen cant stop laughing jor

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*seriously I m bluff u

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* hahaha

2010/6/13 WeiFen lol u ar....

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* u are laughing thr o?

2010/6/13 WeiFen yea la

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* I cant see cant feel

2010/6/13 WeiFen later ppl tot i sampat

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* next time u laugh must write out

2010/6/13 WeiFen haha

2010/6/13 \ [c=3]Iv@N[/c] actually u are

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* no need tot

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* haha 2 times only?

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* suppose hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha 2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c] enough la...

2010/6/13 WeiFen ooooh hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... enuff jor mei?

2010/6/13[c=3]Iv@N[/c]* so dont forget what I said lo

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* relax tmr

2010/6/13 WeiFen yup

2010/6/13WeiFen [i must relax

2010/6/13 WeiFen not will rite

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* I wil find sponsor to open 1 movie for u

2010/6/13 WeiFenwat movie?

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*the day after tmr 2

2010/6/13 WeiFen oooh ...okok thnk so muchhhhh

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* for dinasour de

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* u are only one dinasour

2010/6/13 WeiFen ur head

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* wao.......... ok la...11pm liao

2010/6/13 WeiFen yea la

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*- leave few hours rest only

2010/6/13 WeiFen need to slp

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*fast fast go slp ba

2010/6/13 WeiFen good nitez

2010/6/13 WeiFen u too ba

2010/6/13 WeiFen thnks yea

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* I wishes u getting better and better tmr^^

2010/6/13 WeiFen for making me laugh

2010/6/13 WeiFen yup

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* Ivan bless u

2010/6/13 WeiFen r thnkssss

2010/6/13 WeiFen ivan ng kok sen bless me

2010/6/13 WeiFen u din see my fb meh

2010/6/13 WeiFen i posted sth mar

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* havent see

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* okok...i go view

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* u go slp

2010/6/13 WeiFen ookok i slp

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* deal

2010/6/13 WeiFen nitez

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]*- go go go

2010/6/13 WeiFen okokok

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* nitezzzzzz

2010/6/13 WeiFen bye

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* sweet dream lan ma zuo

2010/6/13 WeiFen sweet dream lion head

2010/6/13 [c=3]Iv@N[/c]* @.@

After today what will I be? Really got a blur vision of myself. Don't know what is my future will be? Another 30 hours to go, then I need to go through the injections, dripping and the pain after surgery. Really need to cross finger everything will go smoothly and no infections on my wound.

What will happen to me after this? I'm really scared.... I don't know how to carry on living. I don't know whether my hand really can be heal after this surgery. I really don't like needles sticking on me... I don't like the pain....

Really can't sleep last night. Wake up early in the morning at 6.15 am and sitting in front of my laptop to start blogging. What will happen to me after today? I really don't know. I'm trying to control my emotions so that people around me not being affected but I've failed. I'm very afraid. I'm very scared of the pain. Everyone thought that I'm strong enough to face this, but the truth is that I'm not that strong. I just pretend to be strong because I don't want them to worry.

I thought of running away but escape this nightmare. but I've realize that the hand is starting to get weaker... Sometimes when I hold on something, the things will fell easily. That's why I really can't escape from it.

My close friend got terminated immediately from the company on last Monday. Just feel that everything is going from bad to worst. When all my friends need help, I will be there for them no matter how. But for him, I can't be there. Feeling so helpless. I knew that I'm not God but I just wish to help everyone who need it. Due to my problems, my friends problems and my family problems really makes me feel so tired of living....

Modesto's 31/5/2010

Yes... I know... its the 2nd Day of my quiting Beer. Trust me... I didn't drink at the beginning... I just drank a cup of ice water... But its really a torture to me. The only thing I want to blog about this was JL got drunk. She said she was not drunk but she did said something funny and the next day she totally forgotten about it. She even thought that I cheated her.

Feel curious of what she said. Haha... if I wrote here and she read it... she definitely will kill me. But if I don't write it here I'm afraid I will forget about it next time... Maybe she will forget about it too. So JL forgive me yea. Is just YOUR history that I can't forget forever... She said she wants to kiss me but she can't... Coz is her first kiss. So she wants to kiss YM first the next day. BUT... she just laughing and giggling over about it. aiks... so disappointed.

oh yea... forgotten to blog about this... now only I realize that its a hard task to take care of a drunken friend. You really can't imagine how tired am I to take care of 2 drunken girls. Really need to keep on eye for them because you won't know when they will do stupid things...

Parkcity @ The Library - 29/5/10

Saturday Night JL, YM and I went to Parkcity for dinner. I promise myself Saturday night will be my last day of drinking alcohol and liquor, due to I need to prepare myself for the operation. So, here we go to Parkcity... The environment there was very nice but... the food there was not nice... and expensive. Especially JL's food... She said she only enjoy her potatoes... Due to heavy rain, we can't take much photos... We sat there and chatted for few hours... and head towards to The Library... Yes... Is Library...but not a place for us to study but to drink...

While we were hanging around at Night market, I met Kang Wei. He too went to the Library. Hmmm.... I quite enjoy their live band there...but too bad, their drinks suck... After 2 glasses of beer, 1 shot of Vodka shot and 1 cup of Tequila Pop, I don;t feel drunk... I'm very clear of what am I doing... aiks... I don't think I will go there anymore...

Well.... that's the end of my LAST Drinking.... Good bye Carlsberg, Good Bye Bailey... Good Bye My Drinking Friends....