Today is the last day of the month, but its my beginning of my nightmare. Due to I can't tolerate the pain of my hand, I've decided to bring forward my appointment for consultation since Prof. Kamarul is at Msia.
So, today is not the day for me. What I've received from Prof. Kamarul was bad news. He said the cause of the electric shock on my scar is due to some complication on the nerve while he was doing the surgery. He said he might accidentally cut off one of my tiniest nerve. Well, all I can said is that I'm just so unlucky.
What I can do now? 3 options given to me. First, under medication with physiotherapy. If this can't work, then I have to choose either 1 option. The first option given to me is to inject the wound to numb the nerves. Which means my palm will be numb forever. Second option is to go for surgery again and see what he can do with it.
I know I have to be strong to face this battle, but why I need to deserve all these?

Butterfly Park instead of Bird Park...1st Sept

Orson promise Bridget to bring her to Bird Park the next day after SPCA trip. Early in the morning when we woke up, Orson help me to cut my hair. This is the first time he cut my hair... After that, we were busy preparing ourselves and here we go.... to Bird park. Frankly, I don't know where is the Bird Park located...and I don't even know there's a Bird Park in KL...

When we reached there, we realize that the entrance fee cost RM 40 per person. So expensive... Then we decided to change our plan to bring her to Butterfly park instead. Nothing much to see there...Just sat on the small hut... chatted wit Chelsea wile waiting for Orson to bring Bridget to walk around.

Later in the afternoon, we headed to Sunway Giza for tea. I bought the Last lecture from there. We hang around there for quite a long time before heading home... There's when my nightmare started.... I hate that moment. I really hate it. after that night, I don't think I know whats the feeling of happiness. I've forgotten the feelings...

Do you ever being scold or yell in public? I did. Mic yelled & scolded me in the public like a dog. Due to some miscommunication, he was angry with me. I admit I did a little wrong but not till I have to deserve to be scolded in public. I have my own point of view. Chelsea purposely fetched me to Subang. I can't just leave her with Bridget and go home. She is not my driver. I called Mic to join us. But he said he wants to rest in the car. After 20 mins, he called me and scolded me. AFTER 5 minutes, he was in front of me yelling & scolding me. Everyone was looking at me... I have my pride too. The story doesn't end here. He yelled at me at the roadside too... Why should I deserve tis kind of treatment? Do I really deserve it?

Our Sweet Memories

Mooncake festival 2010...

Its my 2nd time organizing a steamboat party at my house on Mooncake festival... It's out of my expectation, most of my ex TN colleagues came.Is a moment to remember. I miss all of them... Ivan, Kang Wei, Doren, Jerry, Li Pei, Lawrence, Eric, Vivian and Victor. Miss our times that we spent together..

I'm very upset recently. I don't know somehow nothing could cheer me up. I feel that I've lost my inner self. Trying hard to search back... but still I failed. I don't know what am I suppose to do to carry on living. I'm stuck. I'm as thou a girl without soul and trying her best to search back her soul.

Yesterday, I felt the same... Sad, Disappointment, Miserable... Trying to occupied myself with the event. Preparing foods and etc. I thought that I will feel better at night with my friends around. But still, the feelings haven't subside... Still can't forget and accept what's happening. Trying to be the girl I used to be. Act to be happy, cheerful and naive. Anyhow, I can't deny that in the end I'm happy with their company. Ivan came all the way from KL. Its really out of my expectation cause he told me he is not coming... When I saw him entering my house, I really felt shock and surprise...

My night ended up with a nicely chat with Chee Kin. He came very late due to his work ended at 10pm. Since I left some food for him, he came for his late dinner... When everyone back to their home sweet home... again I m all alone ... and those bad feelings came back to me....

First time took photo with Orson although we knw each other for 15 yrs

Missing those days~

I had a very weird dream Before I continue blogging about others, I have to blog about my dream that I dreamt last night. It was weird but funny thou. ^^
Hmmm.... My dream was about me getting pregnant and giving birth to the child. It's seems very real to me because I was wondering how I got my baby. And whose baby is that. I know definitely it's not from Mic. Well, out of sudden my stomach cramp and pain. So Mic fetch me to the hospital. I've delivered the baby. Everything seems so real. I saw my cute baby... But suddenly, there's a couple came in and took my baby away... I was so shocked and surprised. Why they took my baby away from me!!!! She is mine.... But later on I realize that I'm just helping them to get pregnant, give birth and THEY WILL TAKE AWAY MY BABY.......
This dream really drove me crazy.... How could it possible happen to me? I will definitely not giving my child away.....

A visit to SPCA on 31st August

This was my first visit to SPCA at Ampang. Nothing much to blog about SPCA. There's so much unwanted dogs and cats. Those lucky ones will be adopt. But those unlucky ones will put to sleep after few months. I'll adopt one when my sister in law moves out. I'm just waiting for her to leave coz she doesn't like pets.

Mei Mei - 4 yrs old Female
This is the dog that I intend to adopt ...

The last lecture

Recently there's a friend of mine reminded me about future. He asked me what future I want? I've been thinking hard about it lately. What future I want? What will I be after 5 years? Will I still be the same as now. Out of sudden, I just feel that I'm just wasting my time. What I've been doing lately? Shopping, Drinking, Hanging around with friends...No planning for future.

He seems like my wake up call. He encourage me to live a better life. He said life is short. Why we want to waste our time with unnecessary things. What he said is true. I shouldn't waste my time anymore. I should plan for my future.

He recommended me to read the book "The last lecture". This is the book on a professor who is dying and he gave his last lecture before he dies. It is really meaningful. When I was reading this book, my tears drop. I felt touch. Instead spending his last 3 months with his family, he spent his time on the lecture. He lectured about Joy of Life, how he appreciate his life even with so little of his own left. He talked about honesty, integrity, gratitude and etc.

Well, I haven't finish reading the book yet, but out of sudden I feel my life is really precious. What if a doctor told me that I've only 3 months of living. What will I do? How do I feel? Think about it and will let you know when I've got the answer.

Its been very long time since my last visit... sorry guys... lately I've been really really busy. and my emotions got really down. But luckily I've manage to handle it. Now I'm just waiting for the time to cure my broken heart.
well, where should I start to write about... Hmm... Finally JL got a new bf. I remembered I told her about YM giving up tis relationship because he felt insecure. He wants to have future and he knows that JL can't have any future with him. So he decided to let go... and that's the day JL accepted Victor. August 12th, Victor came to JL's new house and overnight there. Everything just happen in a split second.
Now I start believe on "FATE". No matter how hard you avoid, it will still come to you one day....